this arabic life

Parenting and Privilege

I just finished looking at these photographs, and I’ll warn you now- they’re depressing. It’s not easy being a woman in much of the world, and these pictures show the worst of it. But even before I saw these images, I had been thinking about privilege, specifically as it relates to having a child. It might not be normal to think about the incredible rights and opportunities your child will enjoy while pregnant (and conversely, what rights and opportunities many children do NOT enjoy), but for whatever reason, I am. Gabriel said to me last week that our daughter is already incredibly blessed and fortunate because she has a mother who loves her so much and has worked so hard to prepare for her arrival and to bring her into the world in a healthy way. I agree with him, and it’s a joy to think about this tiny girl and feel -already- that I would do anything for her. But baby girl has so much more than our love! She also has….

- a clean, comfortable home with her own room (including a window with a breeze) running water, a working fan, and enough clothes and toiletries provided by her family to get her through her first year of life
- clean water, good food
- access to the best medical care in the city and the means to travel outside the country for medical care, if needed
- access to education in her home (her parents are literate and intentional about educating at home) and when she is of the age to attend school
- an American passport, and therefore, virtually unlimited travel opportunities and diplomatic support
- many, many people who already care for her little life and express great interest in protecting and supporting her

I could go on, but I think you get the point. Without going to UNICEF’s webpage, I can guess that most of the world’s children don’t have these opportunities, or at least have to fight very hard for them. Our daughter probably won’t ever have to, and I thank God for that, but this fact also leads me to wonder how we will parent such a privileged little girl. How do you model compassion for the poor and the mistreated? How do you instill a sense of responsibility to give to those who have less, without burdening your child unnecessarily? Maybe this will all come naturally, but still, I wonder…

We have friends here who take their children (ages 6 and 5) every Christmas to an area of the city that is full of street children, many of whom are forced to work for adults and are addicted to drugs. Their kids then pick out several Christmas gifts and deliver them to other children of their choosing. This kind of activity has inspired me to think of my own ideas for how we will teach our daughter not just to be thankful for what she has, but to actively give from our abundance to others.

So, sound off. Anyone else have ideas or thoughts on this?

Published:: July 25, 2011; by Emelia
Comments:: 4 Comments

Update Edition

From the looks of this, you would think I had taken a sabbatical from blogging. I guess I did, although it was unintentional. I’m going to cautiously say that I’m back now, though! I have not updated in 4 months, and much has happened. Here is the abridged version…

Post-Revolution Highs and Lows
If what goes up must come down, I would say the soaring emotions and excitement of Egypt’s primarily-peaceful youth led revolution that ousted a dictator of 28 years is no exception. Within a few weeks of Mubarak’s departure, we were hearing complaints. ”We just want things to return to normal.” ”Why do they have to keep protesting? Just go home.” Then there was the election on a referendum to the constitution. The youth, the moderates, and truthfully, everyone we know, proudly told us they were voting “no,” but days before the election the Salafists started coming around in trucks with loudspeakers, announcing with confidence that those who would vote “no” were infidels. Voting happened peacefully, results came in, and the referendum passed. More disappointment for the people who brought about the revolution in the first place. Now, several months later, crime is on the rise. In one week I was pick-pocketed, a friend robbed, another friend’s apartment broken into and ransacked, and a taxi driver shot dead by his passenger just a block from our apartment. People blame the lack of police presence and the fact that some wish to take advantage of the fragile state of things. As my friend Asmaa said, “the revolution is not over yet!” I hope not.

This Arabic Baby
Conveniently, I was enduring the throes of morning sickness and exhaustion during a period of time when the army forbade me from leaving my house except for three hours in the afternoon anyway. Our baby girl is due to arrive some time at the end of September and we could not be happier. Right now we are working to give her a nice room, one without peeling paint on the walls and a hideous gold bed. We also spend a lot of time reading emails and looking at pictures of all the cute clothes that have been purchased for her by mom and sister-in-law. My pregnancy has been wonderful so far and I have nothing to complain about (although it will be a miracle if I have any esophageal lining left by the time she is born- so much heartburn). We’ve found a great doctor and feel good about delivering in Egypt and enjoying all of the cultural experiences that will come with that joyous event!

This Arabic Life: Sudanese Style
I had the interesting opportunity to go to Sudan for 5 days in April. While this was mostly a working trip for me (I got to speak Arabic a lot, and was actually understood), I was also privileged to be working with one of my favorite women, Kris. We shared a lovely breakfast together every morning before hitting the 113 degree heat (42C), and I really enjoyed getting to know some Sudanese friends better. For me, Khartoum was seeing the “real” Africa for the first time, as Egypt just doesn’t feel very “African” at all. I found Sudanese Arabs to be much more relaxed about rules and orthodoxy than their Egyptian counterparts, but this might be an unfair generalization. Either way, I enjoyed Sudan (despite missing Gabe a lot), and I think baby girl did too, as I felt her kicking me for the first time there, but how could she NOT like those Sudanese peanuts I was woofing down constantly?

The other big event in our lives was the completion of our studies at the Arabi Center. We’ve been there for nearly 20 months and completed 400 classroom hours of Egyptian Colloquial Arabic. We were TIRED at the end of the last unit, and I feel that my brain could not possibly take in any more Arabic, but it will, insha’Allah, after I take a short break.

Those are the highlights. We continue to enjoy Egypt and look forward to Ramadan (August) and our business opening in just a few short months. For now, we’re thankful for moderate temperatures, supportive friends, a healthy, growing girl, and kilos and kilos of fresh summer fruit.

Published:: June 18, 2011; by Emelia
Comments:: 3 Comments

Happenings In Egypt

Egyptians form a human shield around Alexandria's most famous monument, the Alexandria Library.

Most of you are probably aware of the unrest that has gripped Egypt over the last two weeks, but we wanted to share with you a bit about our experience, and what it has been like to live amongst the Egyptian people during this truly monumental time in their history. We feel that the perspective offered by most news media outlets are rather shallow and don’t offer a true picture of Egyptian society, and may actually present a negative picture, so we thought it would be good to write about our experience, without expressing our opinions on who should be in power, or what party we support, or whether the protests should have happened or not. It is our belief that this country belongs to the Egyptian people, and that they will decide their own destiny, hopefully without foreign governments putting their hands in the pot. Whether they elect a president who is more moderate, more liberal, more conservative, or more Islamic is up to them, and I have no right to influence in them in one direction or the other; but more about that later.

Our Personal Experience
Egypt is not America. It never will be. I hope it never is. Egypt has a rich culture and history going further back than almost any other country on the planet. Egyptians know this, and are a very proud, extremely patriotic people. They love Egypt and almost everything about it, from the cities to the farms to the desert to the sea. They have songs singing the glories of their land, and every young person can sing these songs from heart. But, this does not mean Egypt is perfect. Egypt has problems. As outsiders, we do tend to notice more of these than an Egyptian would, but part of living in a different culture is learning to live with many of these inward struggles of the Egyptian culture, and at times these faults are more glaring than others. However, during these last two weeks, it seems like so many of those things vanished, like a mist on a hot day. The first thing we noticed was the unity which the Egyptian people had throughout this struggle. On the news you probably saw the chaos which ensued on Wednesday evening as pro-government protestors started a street battle which went on for days. But in our quiet little neighborhood, we saw something different. We saw our neighbors standing guard outside our street, watching out not only for our apartment building, but for the shops and buildings around us. When I first heard about these street ‘gangs’ (as the Western news was calling them), I thought maybe I would find a few men sitting in chairs talking politics. But instead, I walked out to find hundreds of men armed with everything from lead pipes and kitchen knives to nun-chucks, playing a role that I don’t know the police in Egypt ever played. They set up checkpoints and stopped all cars. They questioned strangers who would walk through. They basically stopped any looting at all from happening on their ‘turf’. But the most important thing was that they were doing it together, not as Christian or Muslims or rich or poor, but as Egyptians. They worked in shifts so those who still had to work could work, and others could protest. University students directed traffic. Strangers joined together to pick up trash off the streets, as the trash collection service had stopped as well. (I will say this amazed us most of all because there is a serious trash problem, and many times we have seen Egyptians throw trash on the ground, but have NEVER seen an Egyptian pick up someone else’s trash without getting paid to do so). Egypt came together like we had never seen them come together before, and it was one of the most beautiful things we had ever seen. Any danger we have felt during these last several weeks has been because of the government, and not the Egyptian people. The Egyptian people are a good hearted people, and most of them would never do anything to hurt us. The government, however, has a long track record of going out of their way to cause trouble for Egyptians and foreigners alike. After living with the Egyptian people I can say that I trust them to elect a president that will reflect their values, and therefore do not feel that other governments need to interfere. They have purchased this freedom with their own blood and sweat and sleepless nights. They started it and they will finish it, and we will be behind them 100%. CIMG8229

Our Personal Struggle
During this difficult time we were living our lives on a 24-hour basis. Would we leave? Would we stay? If we left, where would we go? If we stayed, was that decision justifiable to our families and others who care about us? Were we safe? Were we in danger? What was the US Embassy saying? All of these questions were running around our heads 100 times a day every day. It was several days into the protests, as we realized that these people weren’t going to go away, and as the situation began to degenerate, that we came to a realization: if we are going to live in the Middle East with all of it’s political turmoil and ambiguity, we were going to need something to keep us stable in the midst of instability. We found that stability in the writings of the prophets Daniel and David.

David and Daniel both lived in some pretty tumultuous times, and had to struggle with some of the same insecurities and uncertainties as we did. David was dethroned by his son, fled to the wilderness, and was rejected by his people. Daniel was a refugee in Babylon, several times facing death at the hands of his captors. Both of these prophets had an incredible insight for those facing political and personal uncertainty. In Psalm 115:3 David writes, “Our God is in heaven; He does whatever pleases Him.” In the book of Daniel, the king Nebuchadnezzar is humbled when God strips away his kingdom and basically causes him to go insane for seven years, in order that “the living may know that the Most High is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and gives them to anyone He wishes and sets over them the lowliest of men. (Daniel 4:17)” I don’t know if you can understand how incredibly freeing and calming it was to hand the reigns of the world over to the Lord. People in power tend to be prideful and slow to give up their power. Nations tend to meddle in other nations affairs. People can be unpredictable and prone to hatred and violence. But, all of God’s works are righteousness and truth. Even when we don’t understand why some things are happening, we must remember what Job said, “God thunders marvelously with His voice; He does great things which we cannot comprehend. (Job 37:5)”

The Poison of Fear
We know some reasons why the Egyptian people began to protest against the government. Unemployment. Corruption. Poverty. Injustice. Dictatorship. Oppression. The list goes on and on. But it is the questions we don’t have the answers to that cause us the greatest amount of stress and anxiety. Questions like, “What type of government will replace the current regime?” ”Will this new government have good relations with the West, or take a harder line?” ”Will this instability spread to other countries in the Middle East?” Unfortunately, for many people, when faced with these questions, rather than looking to the Scriptures for their answer, the prefer to meddle. We like meddling. We like it because we are scared, and it makes us feel like we have some degree of control. In all actuality, we don’t. History is chalk full of examples, so I won’t bother going into any. But this fear that grips so many of our hearts is a very dangerous thing, and a poison of sorts that will actually turn around and end up killing us if we don’t change.

We fear what we don’t know or understand. You can see it in children. If they are approached by a dog they don’t know, you see their immediate reaction of fear. You see it the first time a child gets on a bike, or is asked by their mother to eat a strange food. You definitely see it the first time someone gets in an airplane or jumps out of one. As we become familiar, that fear leaves, and until that fear leaves, it hold us back. The Apostle John put it like this: “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love (1 John 4:18).” The issue of fear is complicated, and every individual will have different fears to overcome, but the great fear which we had to overcome was the fear that God does not have things in His control. The fear that Egyptians could elect a government that would be opposed to Westerners, or open the door to more militant Islamic groups, or…. The list goes on and on. If we hold onto this fear, it forces us to try and control things ourselves, rather than trusting the Lord. Or, it causes us to distance ourselves and protect ourselves from someone or something, which, like John tells us, keeps us from being able to love. So what are we to do? We live in the midst of political and social uncertainty, and know as little as anyone concerning the future of this great land. Our only choice, and I think the only choice that any of us have, is to place our lives and the world completely in the God’s hands, so to speak. The book of Daniel has these encouraging words for us:

Daniel 2:20-21 – Daniel answered and said: “Blessed be the name of God forever and ever, for wisdom and might are His. And He changes the times and the seasons; He removes kings and raises up kings; He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding.”

Daniel 2:44 – And in the days of these kings the God of heaven will set up a kingdom which shall never be destroyed; and the kingdom shall not be left to other people; it shall break in pieces and consume all these kingdoms and it shall stand forever.

Daniel 4:34-35 – And at the end of the time I, Nebuchadnezzar, lifted my eyes to heaven, and my understanding returned to me; and I blessed the Most High and praised and honored Him who lives forever; for His dominion is an everlasting dominion, and His kingdom is from generation to generation. All the inhabitants of the earth are reputed as nothing. He does according to His will in the army of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth. No one can restrain His hand or say to Him, “What have you done?”

Daniel 4:37 – Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise, and extol, and honor the King of Heaven, all of Whose works are truth, and His ways justice, and those who walk in pride He is able to put down.

Daniel 6:26 – I make a decree that in every dominion of my kingdom men must tremble and fear before the God of Daniel. For He is the living God and steadfast forever; His kingdom is the one which shall not be destroyed and His dominion shall endure to the end.

What Now?
Now, we continue to live our lives. We continue to love our neighbors, whether they be good or bad. We continue to believe that even when we walk through the most difficult and dangerous times, that God is with us. We continue to pray for Egypt, for the Middle East, and for the World. We continue to believe that God is at work in the nations, and that worrying and fear do nothing but hurt me. So, we invite you to join us in our quest against fear. Join us in trusting fully in a God who does not stand idly by watching the world hurtle toward destruction, but is actively at work in all places. Join us in opposing those who seek to spread fear through their irrational and apocalyptic speech. Join us in opposing those who would use stereotypes and the worst examples of the Muslim community to place a wedge of fear and hatred between Muslims and the West. Join us in opposing the US Government’s obsession with meddling in the affairs of other nations. Join us in supporting the Egyptian people as they fight for their freedom, not because it is guaranteed they will be our strongest allies in the Middle East, but because they deserve this freedom.

Published:: February 9, 2011; by Gabe
Comments:: 3 Comments

Bombs (and the confusion that follows them)

As most everyone has heard by now, there was a terrorist attack in our city on New Year’s Eve night, on Christians leaving a church service. 21 were killed, more than 70 injured, and you can read about it more here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-12103248

As you might imagine, living just minutes from a suicide bombing targeting people of your faith has been unnerving, difficult, and most of all, confusing. We’re not afraid to be here, even after a bombing, and we thank God for that. What’s been most stressful of all is reevaluating what it means to do the work of peacemaking, to facilitate reconciliation, and to extend forgiveness, not just to those who would do such an act, but to those who sympathize with it, rationalize it, or simply ignore Egypt’s issues with sectarian violence altogether.

I’ve a lot of thoughts that I hope I’ll be able to articulate, some day, but until then, pray for us, and pray for our city.

Published:: January 7, 2011; by Emelia
Comments:: 3 Comments

This Christmas…

- The blinking of our tree lights is not annoying me as much as it did last year

- I’ve listened to “The Nutcracker” more times than I can count.

- I’ve made 10 dozen cookies, with 6 more dozen still to be made, everything from snickerdoodles to chocolate with toasted pine nuts, from cranberry pistachio to oatmeal white chocolate chunk.

- Despite the the abundance of cookies, I’ve felt sad.

- I’ve felt homesick.

- I’ve even cried a few times

- My Egyptian friends have been so supportive and kind to me through this time, this “most wonderful,” most difficult time of they year.

- I bought my niece the cutest Christmas present ever, laying the foundation for me to be an epic Aunt. She’ll be the perfect age for enjoying said gift next Christmas when we return for a visit.

- I don’t miss snow. I’ll take 65 and sunny ANY day over scraping an inch of ice off my windshield in pantyhose to get to work.

- I’m excited for the things to come next year. 2011’s going to be a good one.

our merry Christmas

Published:: December 20, 2010; by Emelia
Comments:: 3 Comments

The Souq

Market

I’ll take a kilo of potatoes, a half kilo of tomatoes, and a large cat named Sugar, please.

Published:: November 8, 2010; by Emelia
Comments:: 1 Comment

Seasons

Even though we’ve missed two Midwest Autumns since coming to Egypt, I still remember how welcome the seasonal change is after a long summer. I’m a junkie for organizing and re-organizing and used to love unpacking my sweaters (okay, and acquiring new ones too), folding up the tank tops and shorts, and anticipating the cooler temperatures. True, corn-fed Ohioan that I am, I was also able to enjoy Ohio State football, carving pumpkins, eating pumpkins, and of course, the gorgeous red and golden leaves that grace our trees for a few lovely weeks of the year.

The seasons change in Egypt, but with much less grandeur. The temperature drops from 100 to 80 and I feel the need to put on a sweater in the house. Mangoes disappear from the market and the green, unripe oranges that Egyptians like are now covering all of the fruit stands. I start to feel very conspicuous wearing sandals on the tram, because no one else is anymore. The trees aren’t changing, but the air quality is, as farmers begin to burn the chaff from their rice and wheat crops, filling our city with a heavy haze. Okay, it’s not quite as romantic as what I left behind, but it’s wonderful and welcome in it’s own way.

Another seasonal change is a bit more personal, but I feel like I’m undergoing some sort of change in my heart. I went from an “I’m top-of-the-world” trip home to a difficult return to Egypt, to extreme heat, struggles with sadness and loneliness, cultural confusion all over again, and a sense of dread over the Christmas we’ll spend alone this December. But in all of this- and I really don’t know why- I feel the season changing, for the better… like scorching summer turning into refreshing Autumn.

As John Mayer says,

It’s just a season thing, it’s just this thing the seasons do. That’s the way this wheel keeps workin’ now.

Published:: October 25, 2010; by Emelia
Comments:: 1 Comment

Thoughts on 9/11, Qur’an Burning, and the Last Nine Years

First, a note: I live in the Middle East now, so my perspective on global politics (and especially on how America relates to the Middle East) has had to broaden. In asking some of the questions below I am, in no way, diminishing the importance of what happened on 9/11 nor the sacrifices that many Americans have made since then. I am simply expressing grief over what happened that day and what has happened since.

I remember when it happened, now nine years ago. Everyone remembers, and every year since, as September has rolled in, we’ve been reminded of the nearly 3,000 people who died, the incredible acts of bravery displayed on that day, and of course, the evil that caused such destruction.

I remember exactly how I felt at the moment I saw the second plane crash into the second tower, when I realized I wasn’t witnessing some freak accident, but a calculated assault on my home soil. I wasn’t angry, but I was sorrowful… and scared. A few days later, we had declared war on Afghanistan, and not much later after that, we were going to Iraq too.

It’s now been nine years. We’re still in Afghanistan with no realistic end to the war in sight and barely removed from what’s left of Iraq. On the home front, American Muslims are attacked and demonized in the media, people protest their constitutional rights to religious freedom, threaten to burn their holy books, and even set fire to their mosques. We’re just as scared as we were on 9/11, I think.

I don’t know the solution to all of this, but at the risk of making some people angry, I’ll share that I do have some regrets. I regret that the US went to war with Afghanistan to punish Osama bin Laden. If you look at the country now, it seems Osama’s escaped our wrath and the common people (what was left of them from the Soviet invasion) have bore the brunt of our retribution. I regret that we invaded Iraq for the supposed reason of weapons of mass destruction. Saddam was a despot, yes, but there are a lot of despots in the world, many of which we prop up and fund because it supports our own interests. Unfortunately for the people suffering under those leaders, they’re not sitting on oil or “threatening” Israel. I wonder if, when the British divided up “their” Middle Eastern mandates, they considered how those lines they drew would affect the inhabitants of the region? I wonder if my nation’s leaders considered how 9 years of continuous war and billions of dollars spent would hurt ordinary people in the Middle East and West Asia, or even how it would tear apart our own people?

I regret that an American Christian announced that he would burn the Qur’an (most likely as a big publicity stunt), but I regret just as much that the American media took this non-story and obsessed over it. I wonder if the minister ever considered how his words might affect Christians across the world, like my friends who had to flee from their home with their small children because of riots?

Don’t be mistaken and think that I’m putting all of the blame on America. I’m not. But, I have questions, and I’m still sorrowful, and when I think about what we’ve done since 9/11 and the direction in which we seem to be going, I’m scared too. I don’t know what I can do to change the whole world, but this quote from Gandhi inspires me to do what I know I can, which is simply show love to all people, even those who wouldn’t love me back:

Peace between countries must rest on the solid foundation of love between individuals.

Published:: September 14, 2010; by Emelia
Comments:: 2 Comments

Going Home / Returning Home

We had a lovely but incredibly busy visit to the States. Our travel process went smoothly and we immensely enjoyed our long layover in Istanbul, where we were able to see the majestic Blue Mosque and Aya Sofia, enjoy a great Turkish meal on a rooftop and munch on pistachio baklava while walking along the Sea of Mamaara. Once home we saw so many friends and were able to spend a lot of quality time with our families (although it still didn’t seem like enough when it came down to the goodbyes). We were able to be a part of two wonderful weddings, meet two new babies in the family, and catch up on all the American junk food we’ve missed.

But, going home was confusing. For the last 10 months in Middle East I looked forward to seeing my family and friends again, to speaking easily in my native language again, and to feeling comfortable in any given social setting. All of those things were accomplished, but I was surprised to find myself thinking about how I would relay my American experiences to my Egyptian friends, listening to Arabic music, and dreaming of when my family would come visit us in “our place.” Is it possible to have two homes? I think after this visit that it must be. Going back to my mom’s house and the bedroom at the end of the hall, to our small group fellowship at Tim and Abigail’s, to my favorite breakfast place, all of these things felt so easy and normal, but so did flying back over Cairo and pulling into the Sidi Gaber train station to be greeted by some of our best friends here.

The strange feeling these two homecomings produced made me wish- and I’m still trying to find a way how- that I could somehow combine these two worlds. Until I solve that mystery, I am going to make a concerted effort to take a wise man’s words to heart: “Wherever you are, be all there.”

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Published:: August 7, 2010; by Emelia
Comments:: 1 Comment

Home Again

We’re back in the USA. Somehow, our last few weeks before traveling flew by and I temporarily abandoned blogging. Really, I probably won’t post a decent entry for a few more weeks, until we return to Egypt.

But we’re here now. Our over 50 hours of travel has taken us to a land of friendly customer service and chit chat in English, clean public restrooms and pizza with abundant toppings. The air smells like grass and trees, not exhaust and falafel. I love Egypt, for sure, but it’s nice to be back.

Published:: July 7, 2010; by Emelia
Comments:: None